[ANNOUNCEMENT] Personal Issues

PsyChoTk said:
^^^^How I hated those days...................


We should start the AMJ Counseling Corner. Although I don't have my state license yet. I could, however, pass on some guidance.
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A license is only a document in paper.
In our socity this has a surten value.
Because allthese things are based on what we see hear etc.
If we go beond that,u will see this paper has no value what so ever.
Because they designed it that way that we think we must have a license to be able to give possitive professional advice.
A bouddist monk doesnt have any license.
But i can assure u he has alot knowledge.
I will not go to far in this because for some this wil look wierd or odd.
grtz
 
Longfist said:
A license is only a document in paper.
In our socity this has a surten value.
Because allthese things are based on what we see hear etc.
If we go beond that,u will see this paper has no value what so ever.
Because they designed it that way that we think we must have a license to be able to give possitive professional advice.
A bouddist monk doesnt have any license.
But i can assure u he has alot knowledge.
I will not go to far in this because for some this wil look wierd or odd.
grtz
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What??? LOL, na i get ya. I just didn't want people running arond telling everyone they were getting theropy from AMJ. BUT, at least, I'll keep it real.
 
I am verry serieus and also real.
Been into psychology and psychopathology for a wile.
Then i start searching where a tought comes from.
So then we started to examen the brain.
Then we see a tought is energy.
The brain vibrates at a surten level.
These levels have ratings on feelings.
So your toughts create your feelings your emotions and your behavior.
Alot other people have examend the same thing as me.
And they have come to an conclusion.
If u want ill send u a document.
this might seem philosofic but pretty realistic to me.
But then we could come back to the thing...
Real truths cannot be said talked about or even be written,
they must be lived expirianced and felt.
I been talking with people all around the globe about this.
They share the same idea
grtz
 
*SIGH* seriously guys & girls :) what would i do without you all...i really cant express what i feel right now..its just not possible...

to read all those comments from each and every one of you supporting me and offering a shoulder to lean on is just overwhelming for me...never in my life have i had this type of support from any of my friends..(i guess i know who my real friends are now)...

i want to let you all know that i have read every comment, every pm, every email..and if i havent replied im really truly sorry but time is scarce in my life right now..i will get back to you all asap..and umm well i want to let you all know that i did have a talk with the husband..it was a very quick but serious talk and it turns out he is having some issues of his own..

he never finished college and so now he is feeling a little jealous that i get the chance to. and well im not gonna lie..he also confessed to being a little jealous of me talking to guys in my classes...because as you all know i am a housewife so he was used to me being at home all day with my son...so now that im out half of the day, he feels insecure about himself... :/...but i assured him he has nothing to worry about.

...and well he did however ask me to promise him something..which i told him i would think about..

he asked me to promise him that after i was done with school i would go back to being a housewife and not go out and look for a job :( which like i said i told him to let things fall into place and we'll see where time takes us..

as some of you know..my husband is a district sales representative for pepsi here in laguna hills california..so he can manage both my son & i and our expenses..therefore he doesnt think i need to work...

but anyway..sorry its soo long guys..just wanted to give you all a little update on how things are going...we still havent had time to actually sit and talk like we would like to but im working on it :) so yeah im gonna be jumping on here every once in a while so dont miss me too much :) jk.....

god bless you all and i hope to talk to you all soon :)

much love and respect,

Daisy <3
 
Yeah I agree, give it sometime time to sink in and let him sit on it for now. I don't want to get too personal and be in your business it's just not my place. I just am here to give my thoughts and wish you the best. As far as what you mentioned above on your husbands jealousy feelings, that he will have to work on. Trust is #1 in a relationship, next to communication. If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship, or at least not a comfortable one anyway, lol. I think everyone gets jealous, some more than others. It's not a bad thing to feel jealous when it comes to someone you really care about and love. How you respond to it, however, can be a bad thing. It's not the feeling itself that can be the problem, it's how you act on it usually that becomes the problem. In your situation, he happens to be set in his ways and is used to certain things, so now he is out of his comfort zone. I suppose that can be kinda tough to deal with for both of you. You just have to decide what you want, dig deep and think about it. That's a desicion that isn't right or wrong, but more about what will make you happy. I think either way it goes, trust and jealousy is something he will slowly have to work on and some things he will just have to come to terms with. I mean, it's no different when HE'S out all day and you have to except that and trust him. So it works both ways. Takes compromise on both parts. People that are usually one way about things like that have a guilty concsious so therefor they feel if that's what they do then you must be the same way. I'm not saying that's the case at all, I just know a lot of people that have been and are that way. They do exist I promise, and I had to learn that the hard way if you know what I mean. Well, it sounds like you have a good husband that just is used to you being home and wants to take care of you and likes things the way they are. I can relate to that, because I wish my wife would just let me take care of her and be home when I get there. I completely understand where he is coming from. But I also understand where you are coming from. And part of me is glad my wife doesn't just rely on me and is indpendant because I know if something ever happened to me she would be fine on her own. Everybody eeds there space as well. I'm sure part of you just needs to get out and feel like your doing something productive. Things aren't always as bad as they seem either. He don't know, there may come a day once he's adjusted to you going to school and he will enjoy his alone time while your there. Well I hope you two work things out, keep your head up and stay positive. Sorry for babling on and on about this, I wish you the best and I think you have a good man that loves you and is scared is all. Like you said, just let things take there course. GOOD LUCK GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD BLESS..... Just take it day by day, step by step..
 
Sweets - Glad to hear y'all at least got to chat about it. Maybe over the holiday weekend y'all might be able to grab some alone time.

There is only one constant thing in life, marriage, or relationships - CHANGE.

How he feels now may or may not be how he feels in a few months. Let's face it, just from your pics, you're a hottie. He probably feels a tad justified in worrying that you might find someone to connect with since you will be in classes with folks that share your same interests.

He feels that he made it to where he can comfortably support you and yours without a degree and that you really shouldn't need one. Your little bubble should consist of him and your son, that's partially his mode of thinking; in my opinion. He prolly feels like he busts his ass every day at work to provide for you and what you are doing is basically a slap in his face saying that you don't think he's doing a good enough job of supporting you.

I'm guessing that you always wanted to go to school and maybe didn't say anything much about it because y'all weren't in the right place for it to happen at the time, baby, new life together and all of that.

Remind him that you are still the person that he fell in love with. That you want to better yourself, and that it shouldn't be a bad reflection on him. As a mother of kids that were really close together, sometimes you just want a grown up to listen to you, to validate you as an adult; and not have to change a diaper or clean up a mess for a while. That doesn't mean that you don't love your family, it just means that you can go batty after a while of not having adult communication.

He's probably scared of the change, wondering what the future will hold for your family situation when you graduate. Promising him not to go out and look for a job when the time comes isn't a good idea. That's something that will get thrown back in your face later on.

Try telling him that you aren't planning on getting a job, but that you would like something in your life that is yours, makes you feel better about yourself, makes you have your own worth as a person. Not as a mother or a wife. Not that you don't love being a mother and a wife, but that you want something of your own. Not something like scraelboriyorkerooking or knitting; something that other people hold as worthwhile. It's a catch-22 situation though. You really shouldn't care what other people think, but you do.

I always hated it when someone kind of dismissed me because I was "just a mother" My family comes first, my job comes second. I'm in a unique situation that I have my family at my job, so I get good all the way around.

Reminding him that you appreciate all of his hard work and that you would be willing to maybe take on work outside the home so that he could cut back on his hours and go back to school himself might help to push your point along too. Tell him that it's important to you, so you're thinking it might be important to him to get that opportunity.

You're a team, you help each other out, look out for each other, watch each other's backs; help each other succeed for the betterment of the family. That's how it should be.

Done preaching now, sorry I got long winded. Good luck to you babe, you'll figure it out! After all, you're in college now! LOL - sorry, I couldn't help myself.
 
ugh you guys hit it right on the nail...every word you guys speak is as if its coming right out of me..you guys captured my thoughts exactly.

and well with that said..the subject is still fresh so it still bugs him a little to talk about it..what i decided to do is just give him time..he will talk to me about it when hes ready..right now we're taking things one day at a time and slowly working towards a solution that we both feel comfortable with. (not that i had a problem with it in the first place) but yeah things are coming together.

and well on a side note..im really considering a marriage counseling class...eventhough he thinks we dont need it...i really think getting his feelings out on the table will help me understand a little more...now the only problem is finding the time for it...but we'll see where things go..

god bless all of you and i hope you guys had a wonderfull holiday weekend with your loved ones.

much love and respect,

Daisy
 
Alright guys and girls :) so instead of crowding up the forum with another thread Im just gonna keep this one going :)...so Ive been having a little more time on my hands..thanks to my family and friends (yes that includes all of you ) i have my life a little more sorted out now so i feel like I can breath again :) ive also been hoppin on here every once in a while and i gotta tell ya..its hard to keep up :lol:...i have about 2000 unread posts :lol:...so just a quick little update...doing a lot better as some of you may know..i am gonna be on here more often and try my best to help out as much as i can :) so with that said..i have some work to do :) love yall!!!!
 
littledaisy said:
Alright guys and girls :) so instead of crowding up the forum with another thread Im just gonna keep this one going :)...so Ive been having a little more time on my hands..thanks to my family and friends (yes that includes all of you ) i have my life a little more sorted out now so i feel like I can breath again :) ive also been hoppin on here every once in a while and i gotta tell ya..its hard to keep up :lol:...i have about 2000 unread posts :lol:...so just a quick little update...doing a lot better as some of you may know..i am gonna be on here more often and try my best to help out as much as i can :) so with that said..i have some work to do :) love yall!!!!
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glad to here that girl you know we're here for ya
 
littledaisy said:
Alright guys and girls :) so instead of crowding up the forum with another thread Im just gonna keep this one going :)...so Ive been having a little more time on my hands..thanks to my family and friends (yes that includes all of you ) i have my life a little more sorted out now so i feel like I can breath again :) ive also been hoppin on here every once in a while and i gotta tell ya..its hard to keep up :lol:...i have about 2000 unread posts :lol:...so just a quick little update...doing a lot better as some of you may know..i am gonna be on here more often and try my best to help out as much as i can :) so with that said..i have some work to do :) love yall!!!!
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glad to have you back!!! was missing the extra little pep that you brought to the site when you were on :) now get to reading i want that post count down to 0 before the end of the night hahahahaha :) glad all is going better and see we told you it would :)
 
littledaisy said:
Alright guys and girls :) so instead of crowding up the forum with another thread Im just gonna keep this one going :)...so Ive been having a little more time on my hands..thanks to my family and friends (yes that includes all of you ) i have my life a little more sorted out now so i feel like I can breath again :) ive also been hoppin on here every once in a while and i gotta tell ya..its hard to keep up :lol:...i have about 2000 unread posts :lol:...so just a quick little update...doing a lot better as some of you may know..i am gonna be on here more often and try my best to help out as much as i can :) so with that said..i have some work to do :) love yall!!!!
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HI littledaisy i am glad to see you back on the board good that you have some more time on your hands whe are all still here for you now it thit not posted when this thread whas posted but i am not much of big speaker or storry teller like all the ohters guys lol but you now i am here and can always hit me up on palringo or pm me still remember when whe send pm in vlemish hahaha dat was leuk oke so i am glad your doing oke and ill see you arround on the board


GRTZ CYBER WEESJE
MODERATOR@AMJ
 
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