[ANNOUNCEMENT] Thinking About Leaving

[TaylorSPJ]

HAHA i woke up this morning and got on and had 30 new rep comments.....I knew before i looked they were from you......haha excited you decided to keep rolling with us on here.....have a good recovery from surgery......get as much morphon as u can before you leave.....lol

 

[angiekay]

As with everyone else, GLAD TO HEAR YOU ARE STAYING, that's a good thing to stay and get the support from everyone here, you know we are all here for you through good and bad, you will get through it and we are all here to help whenever and however we can. It is too bad that most of us live so far away from you and can't just meet you somewhere for a drink and a chat when you need it (hate that!!!), but as you said, feel free to shoot me a text or call me anytime when and if you need to talk, I'm all up for it!!! Just take it slow and easy and things will get better, talk soon dear!!!

 

[D/\SH]

HAHA i woke up this morning and got on and had 30 new rep comments.....I knew before i looked they were from you......haha excited you decided to keep rolling with us on here.....have a good recovery from surgery......get as much morphon as u can before you leave.....lol

hahhaha and how did you know they were from me?

As with everyone else, GLAD TO HEAR YOU ARE STAYING, that's a good thing to stay and get the support from everyone here, you know we are all here for you through good and bad, you will get through it and we are all here to help whenever and however we can. It is too bad that most of us live so far away from you and can't just meet you somewhere for a drink and a chat when you need it (hate that!!!), but as you said, feel free to shoot me a text or call me anytime when and if you need to talk, I'm all up for it!!! Just take it slow and easy and things will get better, talk soon dear!!!

thanks hun and i have to agree with all that you say.... wouldnt it be nice if we all could get together for a beer and a bullshit session at the bar? that would just be great hahahaha (or even someplace for us all to talk and chill for those that dont drink.

 

[TaylorSPJ]

hahhaha and how did you know they were from me?

haha i just new.....no one goes on a thnking rampage like you do man.....and i went to bed at 2 last night and woke up at 8 and i had 30 reps....i just new it was u.....lol glad to have you back man.

 

[D/\SH]

haha i just new.....no one goes on a thnking rampage like you do man.....and i went to bed at 2 last night and woke up at 8 and i had 30 reps....i just new it was u.....lol glad to have you back man.

haha yeah i got my lappy back now because of a nurse picking it up at my house for me after she realized i was D/\SH lmao..... she was letting me use hers and gave me the passcode to the hospitals internet so im good as gold :> haha and it makes me feel better than this morphone does that people can be that excited sicne i was only gone for 2 days........

 

[PROBEX]

thanks and yes it was hard for me to say but i feel it is something i had to say. i never thought i would ever do something like that to myslef and would never imagine doing it again but with all going on that i mentioned in the first post for a while and than my best friend and my mentor killing himself was just too much to handle and i stupidly decided to take the pussy way out..... its something that i have to live with now and after that experience i shouldnt have been living for a guy my size as the doctor said but the stranger than took me to the hospital at the bar got me there before all went too sour. i owe my life to that guy and of course GOD. i wouldnt be here if the big man didnt feel that my work on earth was done. i thiank you all for the comments and i guess i got some thinking to do. i really do appreciate having you all to talk to and finally getting that off my chest. it really was a hard thing for me to do because suicide is no joke and many look down on that..... and with the girl i know it aint the end of the world and at times i love being single and hanging out with the guys without worries but sometimes you just need a girl to be by your side and love you nad care for you when you are down..... i truely do love you guys and have a whole different outlook on life. it may take me a while to get out of the massive depression that i am in righ now and i may not be on much or at all in the near future why i get my life back straight..... i will give you all a final decision as i said on monday and truthfully without you guys im not sure where i would be or who i would be.

Thanks taylor and AMJ

D/\SH

I know we have talked on and off and I consider you my friend D/\SH but there is deff parts of my life that nobody knows about here on AMJ or even in my actual life now [as I have moved a few times] 20 years ago I was not the same guy I am now I can tell you that much. My childhood was a mess I was beatn down by my old man regularly growing up and not like a spanking kinda thing like full on beat your @ss kinda thing its pretty much all I can remember about my childhood. I begged to be put into a foster home when I was young but at that time it was different instead they would call my dad and ask him if everything was ok he would tell them I was just a teen with issues and they would send me home. It happened twice like this and I got 2 beatings I thought I would die from... no joke. Finally 2 years after that a few teachers [esp in gym class] started to notice all the bruises and had and contacted social services to remove me from my home I was 13. Let me tell you after being screwed over by SServices the 2 times I begged for help before..I was less then receptive so I ran... I was on the street from when I was 13 till I was 17 I got into so much over those years I can't even begin to tell you it all I was a major bad ass with a huge chip on my shoulders that the world somehow owed me something for f@cking up my life like that. It came to a head in 1997 when I got nailed for a armed robbery. Got sentenced for 2 1/2 years in jail... [honestly I deserved far longer then that as I did many things] its there I went thro what sounds similar to like your going thro now. You have to make the choice on your own if this is were it ends or if your going to make a change in your life that will lead down a different path. I'm not gonna lie and say it was easy [I considered the easy way out] but in my mind that is for the weak... Man the f@ck up and walk tall into your future. I avoided the things that lead to were I was... drugs booze partying crime... my so called friends. Poured myself into work and yes it was not glamorous.. McDonalds for god sake at the start... started working 2 full time jobs as soon as I found another... did that for 5 years. Used my art as a outlet. Made new friends and cleaned up my life. Now 20 some years later I look like I have a story book life, the people in it now would never believe thats the past I came from. I'm not saying I'm normal I still have "daddy" issues about my past and I can be slightly anti social... I did however beat the odds against me, and most people I knew when I was young are blown away that I am alive and not in jail. I lost friends along the way to suicide and... [this is going to sound cold as hell] Instead of felling sorry for them or missing them I'm pissed off that they didn't have the balls to change, if someone around me ever threatned to do that now I would hand them the gun and say have at it, with the disclamer..... just remember when your at the very bottom there is only 2 places to go... Up or out. Up is all good... out is totally unknown... its a easy choice in my mind.... I am always game for all goood. Don't wait for people to do it for you as they won't... even the most heartfelt people are selfish and don't truly care, they are looking out for number 1 and only care enough to make themselves feel better, like they are doing something good. You have to do it for you on your own. Just find the people that dout you in your life and make it your mission to prove them wrong, and before you know it you will. Trust me now is not the time to find a girl anyway in your present state you will attract the "save the world" enabling type that will make it harder for you to get better. Get yourself right, feeling confident about yourself and you will attract the right one. [BTW have you seen my wife )]
Good Luck Man I'm hopen you can see yourself clear of this.

PROBEX

 

[kaos]

I know we have talked on and off and I consider you my friend D/\SH but there is deff parts of my life that nobody knows about here on AMJ or even in my actual life now [as I have moved a few times] 20 years ago I was not the same guy I am now I can tell you that much. My childhood was a mess I was beatn down by my old man regularly growing up and not like a spanking kinda thing like full on beat your @ss kinda thing its pretty much all I can remember about my childhood. I begged to be put into a foster home when I was young but at that time it was different instead they would call my dad and ask him if everything was ok he would tell them I was just a teen with issues and they would send me home. It happened twice like this and I got 2 beatings I thought I would die from... no joke. Finally 2 years after that a few teachers [esp in gym class] started to notice all the bruises and had and contacted social services to remove me from my home I was 13. Let me tell you after being screwed over by SServices the 2 times I begged for help before..I was less then receptive so I ran... I was on the street from when I was 13 till I was 17 I got into so much over those years I can't even begin to tell you it all I was a major bad ass with a huge chip on my shoulders that the world somehow owed me something for f@cking up my life like that. It came to a head in 1997 when I got nailed for a armed robbery. Got sentenced for 2 1/2 years in jail... [honestly I deserved far longer then that as I did many things] its there I went thro what sounds similar to like your going thro now. You have to make the choice on your own if this is were it ends or if your going to make a change in your life that will lead down a different path. I'm not gonna lie and say it was easy [I considered the easy way out] but in my mind that is for the weak... Man the f@ck up and walk tall into your future. I avoided the things that lead to were I was... drugs booze partying crime... my so called friends. Poured myself into work and yes it was not glamorous.. McDonalds for god sake at the start... started working 2 full time jobs as soon as I found another... did that for 5 years. Used my art as a outlet. Made new friends and cleaned up my life. Now 20 some years later I look like I have a story book life, the people in it now would never believe thats the past I came from. I'm not saying I'm normal I still have "daddy" issues about my past and I can be slightly anti social... I did however beat the odds against me, and most people I knew when I was young are blown away that I am alive and not in jail. I lost friends along the way to suicide and... [this is going to sound cold as hell] Instead of felling sorry for them or missing them I'm pissed off that they didn't have the balls to change, if someone around me ever threatned to do that now I would hand them the gun and say have at it, with the disclamer..... just remember when your at the very bottom there is only 2 places to go... Up or out. Up is all good... out is totally unknown... its a easy choice in my mind.... I am always game for all goood. Don't wait for people to do it for you as they won't... even the most heartfelt people are selfish and don't truly care, they are looking out for number 1 and only care enough to make themselves feel better, like they are doing something good. You have to do it for you on your own. Just find the people that dout you in your life and make it your mission to prove them wrong, and before you know it you will. Trust me now is not the time to find a girl anyway in your present state you will attract the "save the world" enabling type that will make it harder for you to get better. Get yourself right, feeling confident about yourself and you will attract the right one. [BTW have you seen my wife )]
Good Luck Man I'm hopen you can see yourself clear of this.

PROBEX

good lord probex...I never would have pictured that from you Halloween costume pictures......

 

[chauleyb]

yo whats dash just got my laptop back couple days ago and i seen this thread and i was like what the eff man dash cant leave its wouldnt be the same if u left bro but now i here u staying and im glad u r u be posting some great stuff man along with everyone else but to my knowledge u r the most popular and yes credit needs to be givin to whom credit is do and i wanna apologize to u and the staff and the AMJ world sometimes i forget to hit the thanks at times but i am grateful bro real talk my fone wouldnt look half way kool if it wasnt for u and jew and probex and kaos and super ect......... but imma do better cuz AMJ is the SHIZNITS!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE WE ALL CAN DO BETTA TOO AND I FEEL U DASH ITS NUTTIN LIKE HAVIN A FRIEND A REAL FRIEND AT THAT...

 

[D/\SH]

I know we have talked on and off and I consider you my friend D/\SH but there is deff parts of my life that nobody knows about here on AMJ or even in my actual life now [as I have moved a few times] 20 years ago I was not the same guy I am now I can tell you that much. My childhood was a mess I was beatn down by my old man regularly growing up and not like a spanking kinda thing like full on beat your @ss kinda thing its pretty much all I can remember about my childhood. I begged to be put into a foster home when I was young but at that time it was different instead they would call my dad and ask him if everything was ok he would tell them I was just a teen with issues and they would send me home. It happened twice like this and I got 2 beatings I thought I would die from... no joke. Finally 2 years after that a few teachers [esp in gym class] started to notice all the bruises and had and contacted social services to remove me from my home I was 13. Let me tell you after being screwed over by SServices the 2 times I begged for help before..I was less then receptive so I ran... I was on the street from when I was 13 till I was 17 I got into so much over those years I can't even begin to tell you it all I was a major bad ass with a huge chip on my shoulders that the world somehow owed me something for f@cking up my life like that. It came to a head in 1997 when I got nailed for a armed robbery. Got sentenced for 2 1/2 years in jail... [honestly I deserved far longer then that as I did many things] its there I went thro what sounds similar to like your going thro now. You have to make the choice on your own if this is were it ends or if your going to make a change in your life that will lead down a different path. I'm not gonna lie and say it was easy [I considered the easy way out] but in my mind that is for the weak... Man the f@ck up and walk tall into your future. I avoided the things that lead to were I was... drugs booze partying crime... my so called friends. Poured myself into work and yes it was not glamorous.. McDonalds for god sake at the start... started working 2 full time jobs as soon as I found another... did that for 5 years. Used my art as a outlet. Made new friends and cleaned up my life. Now 20 some years later I look like I have a story book life, the people in it now would never believe thats the past I came from. I'm not saying I'm normal I still have "daddy" issues about my past and I can be slightly anti social... I did however beat the odds against me, and most people I knew when I was young are blown away that I am alive and not in jail. I lost friends along the way to suicide and... [this is going to sound cold as hell] Instead of felling sorry for them or missing them I'm pissed off that they didn't have the balls to change, if someone around me ever threatned to do that now I would hand them the gun and say have at it, with the disclamer..... just remember when your at the very bottom there is only 2 places to go... Up or out. Up is all good... out is totally unknown... its a easy choice in my mind.... I am always game for all goood. Don't wait for people to do it for you as they won't... even the most heartfelt people are selfish and don't truly care, they are looking out for number 1 and only care enough to make themselves feel better, like they are doing something good. You have to do it for you on your own. Just find the people that dout you in your life and make it your mission to prove them wrong, and before you know it you will. Trust me now is not the time to find a girl anyway in your present state you will attract the "save the world" enabling type that will make it harder for you to get better. Get yourself right, feeling confident about yourself and you will attract the right one. [BTW have you seen my wife )]
Good Luck Man I'm hopen you can see yourself clear of this.

PROBEX

wow probex, i would have never guessed as you said, and your right like stated earlier in this thread or one in the staff area (cant remember) i know it can only look up. im glad i stopped myself from drinking the other part of the fifth and got help from that pedestrian at the bar which still hasnt came forward so i could thank him. thank you for the support and also sharing your experience with me. im moving forward for the good and still gong to school and have a full time job which i am blessed for having and doing both.... thanks probex and the rest for the pick me ups and sharing your experience with me. gives me a whole different outlook knowing i got friends that have been through similar or the same experiences that i have been through. to me you guys are my heros :>

Thanks
Matt

 

[D/\SH]

yo whats dash just got my laptop back couple days ago and i seen this thread and i was like what the eff man dash cant leave its wouldnt be the same if u left bro but now i here u staying and im glad u r u be posting some great stuff man along with everyone else but to my knowledge u r the most popular and yes credit needs to be givin to whom credit is do and i wanna apologize to u and the staff and the AMJ world sometimes i forget to hit the thanks at times but i am grateful bro real talk my fone wouldnt look half way kool if it wasnt for u and jew and probex and kaos and super ect......... but imma do better cuz AMJ is the SHIZNITS!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE WE ALL CAN DO BETTA TOO AND I FEEL U DASH ITS NUTTIN LIKE HAVIN A FRIEND A REAL FRIEND AT THAT...

i decided to stay and if you want to read through the thread you will find the reasons why and all..... thanks for the words.

 

[fanaticny]

I knew he was staying, just bc he can't last too long without looking at simplyput3456's avatar, or her default if you will..........lol J/K!!.............nah but I just want to say Dash's work is much appreciated, he makes or gets the cool applications for our phones, and our phones makes us all cool......so Thanks Dash!

 

[lalomartinez]

DASH!! My nigguh!! You decided to stay, well I must say I'm happy to hear it!!, Well brother, if you're ever feeling down and in need of a hug...Well chu know!!..LoL..

 

[MikeyD]

hahahahahahahaha i love coffee grinds tht have the prize in the can lmao :> and sorry about the party, i went into the hospital yesterday (stated in staff area until now) and had a lapro appy aka appendix removed..... ill be out mid-day today and gonna have to fight throguh that too :> but hell it can only look up from here :>



thank you for the words they really do mean a lot and its nice to know that im not the only one that goes through troubles like these. you coming out and saying that along side me makes me feel a lot better (not at your expense) im just glad that i have someone that has gone through the same as me for moral support and hopefully i can do the same. if you want to send me a pm i can get you hooked up with my numebr so we can stay in contact and all that jazz :> thanks again for caring



thank you i really need a big hug from my Aunesti :> make me feel much better since im stuck laying in this hospital bed for another 3 hours or so :< damn appendix lmao



thanks angie, you got my number and its open to you whenever you need it. im glad i have someone that i can talk to about this because as you know its hard to talk to people that havent gone through the same things because they dont truley understand. thank you ofr being there and i will def have to give you a call or shoot you a text and get too know you even better.

thanks you



im sorry to hear all that you have been through and that has to be hard in a way that i couldnt imagine. thank you for sharing and also caring for me :> really does mean more than anyoen could understand :>

Thanks

and with the above said i have put much thought into my decision and i decided the best thing for me at the time is to stay here at AMJ where i have all my friends there to help me through these times sicne trust me they have just begun and wont be easy to let go of and forget. i would like to thank all for their comments and care that they have shoown to me during my time of need. Thank you AMJ and even though i havent met any of you that have replied in this thread in person i consider you all great friends and family. Thank you for opening your hearts and minds to me and keeping me from not only making THE biggest mistake of my life but for also helping me through everything. you mean the world to me and dont know what i would do without you all.

Thanks
D/\SHY-POO

Thank god your staying.....i would have cried and i dont like crying.....take some time when you need it brother and take care

 

[tlpalmer01]

My Dash, I am so glad you are staying, I hope you feel better from the surgery and I will always be there to listen if you need to talk, take care, luv ya.............

 

[D/\SH]

I knew he was staying, just bc he can't last too long without looking at simplyput3456's avatar, or her default if you will..........lol J/K!!.............nah but I just want to say Dash's work is much appreciated, he makes or gets the cool applications for our phones, and our phones makes us all cool......so Thanks Dash!

im the AMJ whore, its not just simply and my teacher fetish (hahahahaha i love teachers) its also tweetybear, little daisy, and on and on lmao

DASH!! My nigguh!! You decided to stay, well I must say I'm happy to hear it!!, Well brother, if you're ever feeling down and in need of a hug...Well chu know!!..LoL..

as long as its not a bear hug lmao just messing and thanks brudda

My Dash, I am so glad you are staying, I hope you feel better from the surgery and I will always be there to listen if you need to talk, take care, luv ya.............

thank you and number stored and pm sent with mine :>

 

[angiekay]

im the AMJ whore, its not just simply and my teacher fetish (hahahahaha i love teachers) its also tweetybear, little daisy, and on and on lmao



as long as its not a bear hug lmao just messing and thanks brudda



thank you and number stored and pm sent with mine :>

ummm, YEA, hope I'm "included" in that "on and on" statement there Dashy!!!! glad you are feeling a little better, very happy to see your posts and humor again dear!!

 

[D/\SH]

ummm, YEA, hope I'm "included" in that "on and on" statement there Dashy!!!! glad you are feeling a little better, very happy to see your posts and humor again dear!!

of course you are you are my favorite of them all :> ive always thought you were hot since i saw the picture of you and your daughter on the roof of your house :>

 

[BiG JeW]

I know we have talked on and off and I consider you my friend D/\SH but there is deff parts of my life that nobody knows about here on AMJ or even in my actual life now [as I have moved a few times] 20 years ago I was not the same guy I am now I can tell you that much. My childhood was a mess I was beatn down by my old man regularly growing up and not like a spanking kinda thing like full on beat your @ss kinda thing its pretty much all I can remember about my childhood. I begged to be put into a foster home when I was young but at that time it was different instead they would call my dad and ask him if everything was ok he would tell them I was just a teen with issues and they would send me home. It happened twice like this and I got 2 beatings I thought I would die from... no joke. Finally 2 years after that a few teachers [esp in gym class] started to notice all the bruises and had and contacted social services to remove me from my home I was 13. Let me tell you after being screwed over by SServices the 2 times I begged for help before..I was less then receptive so I ran... I was on the street from when I was 13 till I was 17 I got into so much over those years I can't even begin to tell you it all I was a major bad ass with a huge chip on my shoulders that the world somehow owed me something for f@cking up my life like that. It came to a head in 1997 when I got nailed for a armed robbery. Got sentenced for 2 1/2 years in jail... [honestly I deserved far longer then that as I did many things] its there I went thro what sounds similar to like your going thro now. You have to make the choice on your own if this is were it ends or if your going to make a change in your life that will lead down a different path. I'm not gonna lie and say it was easy [I considered the easy way out] but in my mind that is for the weak... Man the f@ck up and walk tall into your future. I avoided the things that lead to were I was... drugs booze partying crime... my so called friends. Poured myself into work and yes it was not glamorous.. McDonalds for god sake at the start... started working 2 full time jobs as soon as I found another... did that for 5 years. Used my art as a outlet. Made new friends and cleaned up my life. Now 20 some years later I look like I have a story book life, the people in it now would never believe thats the past I came from. I'm not saying I'm normal I still have "daddy" issues about my past and I can be slightly anti social... I did however beat the odds against me, and most people I knew when I was young are blown away that I am alive and not in jail. I lost friends along the way to suicide and... [this is going to sound cold as hell] Instead of felling sorry for them or missing them I'm pissed off that they didn't have the balls to change, if someone around me ever threatned to do that now I would hand them the gun and say have at it, with the disclamer..... just remember when your at the very bottom there is only 2 places to go... Up or out. Up is all good... out is totally unknown... its a easy choice in my mind.... I am always game for all goood. Don't wait for people to do it for you as they won't... even the most heartfelt people are selfish and don't truly care, they are looking out for number 1 and only care enough to make themselves feel better, like they are doing something good. You have to do it for you on your own. Just find the people that dout you in your life and make it your mission to prove them wrong, and before you know it you will. Trust me now is not the time to find a girl anyway in your present state you will attract the "save the world" enabling type that will make it harder for you to get better. Get yourself right, feeling confident about yourself and you will attract the right one. [BTW have you seen my wife )]
Good Luck Man I'm hopen you can see yourself clear of this.

PROBEX

Probex, that was a very long and moving post. who wouldve thought?? (like you said).... In any case, Im glad I surround myself with good people like Dash, you, Broski, Mike20Pr and other staff. its good to know we have a place where we can relate to others issues. Dash i am glad to hear you are staying, I dont know where AMJ would be without you. I hope you are feeling better and know that you have people here that really do care. Probex... mad respect homie!

 

[PROBEX]

Ya I rarley go into any details of my life like that to anyone, but felt that it was warrented in this situation. Sorry it was long... its hard to compress your life into a paragraph. It always helps to hear a success story when your fighting your way back from hard times. One upside of a nasty past is it takes something huge to put me in any type of depression as I can always say.... I've had it worse... and move on from it. Even tho it sucked I would not change anything as it made me the man I am today.

 

[angiekay]

Ya I rarley go into any details of my life like that to anyone, but felt that it was warrented in this situation. Sorry it was long... its hard to compress your life into a paragraph. It always helps to hear a success story when your fighting your way back from hard times. One upside of a nasty past is it takes something huge to put me in any type of depression as I can always say.... I've had it worse... and move on from it. Even tho it sucked I would not change anything as it made me the man I am today.

AMEN TO THAT PROBBIE!!! I know you are a VERY STRONG PERSON today b/c of all that you had to endure!! they always say "WHAT DOESN'T KILL US WILL MAKE US STRONGER!!!" RIGHT! Thanks for the story and laying it all out there for Dash and all of us, I know that HAS to take some balls to do that, but if you situation even helps ONE person (which I know you could help alot of ppl b/c of what you went through) it was all worth it!!!! I know exactly!!! Dashy could also do the same, I've always wanted and hated that I haven't made the time to voluteer somewhere to talk to teens and try to help ppl who are in the same kinda situation I once was, there's nothing like talking to someone who actually knows how you feel and what you are going through!!!! Sometimes that's what it takes for that person to see the light again, you know?